I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
