Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
