Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
