I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
