can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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