we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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