Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
