By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
