i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
