so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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