i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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