He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
