so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
