he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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