i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
