Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
