I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize