im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
