Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
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Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
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I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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