I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
