Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
God I need to hump something, right now.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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