I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
