...so i touched it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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