So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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