Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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