Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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