Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
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I need moral support for this bender
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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