Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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