He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
