dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Can I color on your dick again?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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