There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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