hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
now i know why i became what i already was.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
