You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
