i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
