Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
