OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
