real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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