Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
