Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
