I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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