Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How naked do you want me to be?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
