my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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