dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Say something about gay babies.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
