Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.