There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"