No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.