Can Purell be used as lube?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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