Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
