weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
