Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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