I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Dicks are not precious.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
