he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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