Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
