big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
