we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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