everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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