The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
