I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
