i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
