their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
