If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
