Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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