Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
