I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
