the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
