Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
