last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
