just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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