just survived the first fart of the relationship.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
