If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He kissed a someone with a penis
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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