Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
