i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize