If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
